Wednesday, May 25, 2005

Sick night

Rosie and I are watching a progam called Dolphin Murder Mystery. I was hoping it was like a Hercule Poirot type show but it's actually a documentary about these dolphins who attack their own babies and toss them around in the air. I saw something like that on the BBC's Blue Planet, where these killer whales were torturing a baby whale and tossing it around for fun. Well, I can only assume it was fun because they didn't even eat it afterward.

We also watched a show called Teenagers From Hell, a documentary program about out-of-control teens who set each other's hair on fire and drive buses into houses and things like that. It was actually pretty sad -- there was one kid (the one who had his friends set his hair on fire for fun, and videotape it) being interviewed with his mom, and they watched the video footage while his mom cried and yelled at him, "What's wrong with you? Why would you do something like this?" Then, to the camera: "Christ, he's so fucking stupid." The kid just sat there like a lump with his mouth hanging open and not saying anything. It was tragic. Not the cheeriest night of television ever.

Sitting here in the, er, sitting room, I'm not terribly cheerful either. I've come down with some sort of virus which is causing every muscle and joint in my body to scream with pain and my head hurts like a motherfucker and I keep feeling like I'm going to pass out and movement of any kind is just excruciating. Uggghhhh. Iain came over to go dancing with me, but now he's stuck watching TV with me for the night instead. Ha, ha, ha! At least I can drag someone else's night down with me! No, I'm kidding. It's nice to have company, though.

Now we're watching a program about the top 20 UK Big Brother contestants ever in honor of the new series starting this week. I've never seen Big Brother in America, but isn't it kind of a national joke how boring it is? Anyway, basically every celebrity in Britain came from Big Brother, so it's a different kind of thing over here.

As I'm watching all this "best of" footage, I can feel myself being sucked in. I'm also fantasizing about being selected for the new Big Brother, especially since it coincides exactly with the end of the school year. I could have applied, been selected, finished university as normal, then spent the summer in the Big Brother house! After all, my visa doesn't run out until October 31st. And my status as a gay American would virtually guarantee me a spot on the show! The producers would be fools to pass up such potential conflict. My underdog/fish-out-of-water situation would certainly lead to a win, and I would use my prize money to buy Martin Freeman and make him my personal love slave even though he looks like a Muppet.

It's this kind of daydreaming, or crying over my aching head!


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