Saturday, April 16, 2005

Germany pictures

When Kristina and I got off the train from Wuppertal to Köln, the first thing we saw was the magnificent Kölner Dom, towering above us like an enormous cathedral. (This is fortunate because that's exactly what it is.) The Kölner Dom was so massive it was impossible to register even looking right at it, and certainly not possible to truly capture in a photograph. I made Kristina stand in front of it with me looking up for several minutes as I declared over and over, "This is sooooooo wrong."

Dancing German people! Outside a department store. You just can't avoid culture in this country.

Perhaps the highlight of my entire life was when we visited the Schokolademuseum. There, Kristina and I toured a real chocolate factory and witnessed such wonders as a chocolate fountain and the creation of chocolate kitties.

In addition, it was there I first laid eyes on the woman I shall one day make my wife. We never exchanged names, but in my heart I am certain she is called Frau Süssigkeit.

As if that wasn't amazing enough, we also watched a short film on the possibility of combining foot fetishes with an affinity for that cocoa flavor.

On a deeper, more intellectual note, the museum also contained an area reserved for chocolate art. It was almost too deep and intellectual to put into words other than "deep" and "intellectual." This one is obviously so meaningful it transcends language itself ("Without Title").

Other artifacts of chocolate art included chocolate poetry, a chocolate Kölner Dom, a plain chocolate cylinder which is so fraught with relevance its implications clearly go way over my head, something involving chocolate and fetuses, and finally something relating chocolate and war. Ooh, very topical!

This is a piece entitled "Chocolate Humpty." Behold the making of "Chocolate Humpty" here. If you ask me, it's really wrong that that's not the name of a filthy new dance.

I mentioned the Schwebebahn in Wuppertal, and here's a picture of the overhead track. It's insanity, I tell you!

You can tell I didn't do much in Tübingen because I took hardly any pictures. The only ones I can offer you are this shot of somewhere in town and a clown-headed bin which terrified the shit out of me because it was facing away from me and when I looked again it was looking right at me.

Also, I may have understated earlier how pissed off Josh and I were that we traveled all the way to Hechingen and this is the closest we got to Schloss Hohenzollern.


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