Friday, October 15, 2004
It's Inconsiderate Cel Phone Man!
I recently got a mobile phone. It's actually Marianne's dad's, and he was awesome enough to let me use it for the year. Probably because he got a way cooler one to replace it, but that's just fine with me. I didn't have a mobile when I left the States, and wasn't planning on getting one when I moved here, but what I've heard about most of Europe seems to be true: you just can't nurture a social life without one. So despite my hatred of the damn things, I caved. However, today I had an experience which reminded me why I dislike them so much.
Each week someone from my English seminar goes up and gives a presentation on some aspect of the material we're studying that week (our seminar leader calls them "exposés," as if we were assigned to reveal that James Kelman was into hookers and blow). Mere minutes after this girl had introduced herself and began exposing away -- wait, let's drop the exposé thing and say "presenting away" -- there was the distinct sound of ringing. The kind that comes from a mobile phone. The kind that comes from a mobile phone IN MY BAG. Yes, I am that asshole. I am Inconsiderate Cel Phone Man. It took me ages to realize I was the offender, making me look even more stupid. "At least I won’t be the only one who looks like an arse today," joked the interrupted young woman at the front of the class.
Last week I had an incredibly vivid nightmare in which I was tricked into entering a small, totally dark underground room by myself and locked inside, and however these things work in dreams I somehow became aware that someone very evil had done this in order to watch me lose my mind and die slowly and horribly. You can imagine how well-rested I felt the next day.
I'm telling you this because today Rosie and I went to the cinema and saw, er, Saw. I'd never read anything about it in America, so I don't know when you guys are going to get this movie, but OMIGOD IT IS TEH SCARIE. Rosie and I were practically crying by the end. We just walked all the way home screaming. How come I haven't talked to anyone else who finds this film frightening? Even the homos at AbFab were unimpressed. I thought it must be me, but seriously, what kind of psycho ISN'T disturbed by [insert any given frame of Saw here]? I'm standing my ground on this one. I know I'm not nearly as desensitized to cinematic horror as most people...but Rosie is. And she nearly shat herself as well, if she doesn't mind me saying so on the internet.
In other “Eric goes to the movies” news, this week I saw Wimbledon (if Paul Bettany and/or his ass is reading this, let him/it please note that my email address in the sidebar is current) and Bride & Prejudice, the Indian “Pride & Prejudice.” I liked them both very much, but Bride & Prejudice really took the cake. Absolutely fucking fabulous, every second of it. For reasons I'm sure I don't want to know, it's not coming out in America until Christmas Day (even then, it'll be a limited release), but wherever you are, I can't urge you strongly enough not to miss it.
Also, can I just give massive props to British cinema audiences for being respectful and shutting the hell up during movies? I know I've mentioned this before, but I consider it an act of God if I don't feel the bloodlust while sharing an auditorium with an American audience, which somehow always manages to include someone who talks over the film as if it was a nuisance to their holding a conversation with the person next to them. Or those annoying people who loudly overreact to a film in order to show others that they are "getting" it. For a society about a hundred times more obsessed with mobile phones than America, I'm still the only person I've encountered here who has been foolish enough to let their phone go off at an inappropriate time.
Each week someone from my English seminar goes up and gives a presentation on some aspect of the material we're studying that week (our seminar leader calls them "exposés," as if we were assigned to reveal that James Kelman was into hookers and blow). Mere minutes after this girl had introduced herself and began exposing away -- wait, let's drop the exposé thing and say "presenting away" -- there was the distinct sound of ringing. The kind that comes from a mobile phone. The kind that comes from a mobile phone IN MY BAG. Yes, I am that asshole. I am Inconsiderate Cel Phone Man. It took me ages to realize I was the offender, making me look even more stupid. "At least I won’t be the only one who looks like an arse today," joked the interrupted young woman at the front of the class.
Last week I had an incredibly vivid nightmare in which I was tricked into entering a small, totally dark underground room by myself and locked inside, and however these things work in dreams I somehow became aware that someone very evil had done this in order to watch me lose my mind and die slowly and horribly. You can imagine how well-rested I felt the next day.
I'm telling you this because today Rosie and I went to the cinema and saw, er, Saw. I'd never read anything about it in America, so I don't know when you guys are going to get this movie, but OMIGOD IT IS TEH SCARIE. Rosie and I were practically crying by the end. We just walked all the way home screaming. How come I haven't talked to anyone else who finds this film frightening? Even the homos at AbFab were unimpressed. I thought it must be me, but seriously, what kind of psycho ISN'T disturbed by [insert any given frame of Saw here]? I'm standing my ground on this one. I know I'm not nearly as desensitized to cinematic horror as most people...but Rosie is. And she nearly shat herself as well, if she doesn't mind me saying so on the internet.
In other “Eric goes to the movies” news, this week I saw Wimbledon (if Paul Bettany and/or his ass is reading this, let him/it please note that my email address in the sidebar is current) and Bride & Prejudice, the Indian “Pride & Prejudice.” I liked them both very much, but Bride & Prejudice really took the cake. Absolutely fucking fabulous, every second of it. For reasons I'm sure I don't want to know, it's not coming out in America until Christmas Day (even then, it'll be a limited release), but wherever you are, I can't urge you strongly enough not to miss it.
Also, can I just give massive props to British cinema audiences for being respectful and shutting the hell up during movies? I know I've mentioned this before, but I consider it an act of God if I don't feel the bloodlust while sharing an auditorium with an American audience, which somehow always manages to include someone who talks over the film as if it was a nuisance to their holding a conversation with the person next to them. Or those annoying people who loudly overreact to a film in order to show others that they are "getting" it. For a society about a hundred times more obsessed with mobile phones than America, I'm still the only person I've encountered here who has been foolish enough to let their phone go off at an inappropriate time.
