Monday, September 20, 2004

Windy city

I've mentioned that it's cold and gray here in Aberdeen. It's also incredibly windy. So windy that the women I've seen walking around today don't really have hairstyles so much as masses of hair sticking straight out from their head in one direction. I walked home from uni today plowing through the air, leaning forward at a 45-degree angle to keep from falling over, for god's sake. During most of the night and much of the day, gales of wind whip through the spaces between the granite fortresses that are Aberdeen, making a sound almost identical to thunder rolling in the distance.

This is all a little weird, but it's all right because the wind stays outside. Except in Marianne's case, because her window is broken and is only hanging on by one corner. So her bedroom is basically a wind tunnel, with things coming off the wall and having to raise your voice and shit. And it's not just scary hanging out in there. When I go to bed each night, I can hear the miniature hurricane rattling Marianne's door in its frame. If you stand outside her room, you can see it rattling, plus you get to feel the powerful winds blasting your feet from under the door. IT'S LIKE THE EXORCIST OVER HERE.

So we're trying to get someone to come over here and fix the damn thing. I am at a complete loss as to how Marianne manages to get any sleep in what has been dubbed the Hurricane Room. We imagine it as something like the Hot Chicks Room from The Upright Citizens Brigade. We like pretending to be realtors showing the flat and going, "...and over here is THE HURRICANE ROOM. THIS IS WHERE IT IS VERY, VERY WINDY... WHY IS THERE A HURRICANE ROOM? WELL, IF WE LET IT SPREAD THROUGH THE REST OF THE BUILDING IT WOULD CAUSE A GREAT DEAL OF DAMAGE, NOW WOULDN'T IT? DO YOU HAVE ANY more stupid questions?" (We have to raise our voices to be heard when the door to the Hurricane Room is open.)

My room, on the other hand, is the Bee Room. I had left my window slightly open for ventilation one day, and when I re-entered my room to go to bed that night, the place was full of bees. I stayed up until 6:30 AM killing them all, after attempts to shoo them out the window proved totally fruitless. In the end, I had to swat at them idiotically with my lint roller so they would stick to it. But that didn't actually kill them, so I had to roll it around on the ground to kill them all. It was all very gruesome. Rosie has since informed me that there is a large bee's nest right outside my bedroom. I haven't opened my window since.


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